


Dropping A Line

by orphan_account



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, another wonderful activity at camp campbell, woo letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-17 06:22:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11845764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A series of letters home from the Camp Campbell campers.





	1. Max

**Author's Note:**

> will most likely continue these, they're fun to write and it's a bit of an exercise in writing different characters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Mom, with some rather forced love from Max.

Dear Mom,

This camp is ~~fucking bullshit~~ _absolutely wonderful_! Why do you send me here every ~~goddamn~~ single year? If you haven’t ~~gotten it through your thick skull~~ _understood_ yet that this ~~shitpile~~   _amazing_  summer camp is doing nothing but ~~wasting my time~~   _helping me find a new and exciting way to spend_ every school break, I'm honestly quite impressed.

For one, the food ~~sucks~~ _is pretty good_. The ~~creepy~~   _good ol'_ Quartermaster cooks, and I'm amazed none of us kids have ~~been drugged~~   ~~raped~~ ~~molested~~   _had our joyous time at Camp Campbell impeded in any way by him_. I ~~don't~~ want to know how he manages to keep this ~~shitstain of a camp~~   _wondrous facility_ ~~from falling apart around us~~   _running smoothly_!

The camp counselors are ~~just as pitiful as the rest of the camp~~   _cheerful_ and full of the quintessential ~~utter horseshit~~   _Camp Campbell spirit_ that makes for a camp experience like ~~every fucking~~ _no_ other. ~~Gwen is pretty cool, and is probably the only tolerable adult at this camp.~~ David is ~~way, way too~~ enthusiastic and always going on about some "Campe Diem" ~~bullshit~~ _motto that I'm trying very hard to live by while at camp_. Mr Campbell, the guy who owns the place, is ~~pretty dodgy~~   _an inspiration to all us campers_ , and I think he's got an ~~international money laundering scheme going on~~   _admirable can-do attitude that he puts into his endeavours outside the camp_.

I have a couple of new ~~acquaintances~~ _friends_ this time. Nikki is like a ~~bloodhound trapped inside a tomboy's body~~ _ball of energy that's ready for anything_ , and Neil is a ~~wussy science nerd~~   _smart with a passion for science_. We make it our mission to ~~make David's life a living hell~~ _have the best possible time at summer camp_. ~~There's all sorts of shenanigans we get up to, such tying the counselors to the flagpole and leading the camp resistance. Down with the oppressive regime of the counselors!~~  I think you'd like them. I haven't really warmed up to the other campers, ~~and to be honest, I don't think I will~~.

Thanks for the new sweater. See you at the end of summer.

_Your loving son,_

\- Max

PS: Mr Honeynuts may need a bath and some reconstructive surgery when we get back. He's lost a bit of weight and is looking worse for wear. Gwen did what she could, but when you're out in the woods there's not much that can be done.

  _Max, do you really think this is a letter your mother would like to receive from her darling son at camp? I've gone through and made some more appropriate changes for you so you can fix it up later. Other than the profanity, you have an impressive vocabulary for your age, and if Mr Campbell will give us the money for the stamps you might be able to send it! Won't your mother be proud? - David_


	2. Neil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Mom and Dad, with the utmost sincerity from Neil.

Dear Mom and Dad,

We should have read the brochure a bit more closely before you signed me up for this. Science camp, my ~~ass~~ _butt_! _Please use nicer language in your letter home._

The person who owns the camp is never here, the groundskeeper has probably had most of his body parts replaced ~~due to some horrific inbreeding~~ and the counselors? Well, one doesn't care and the other one cares too much.

All the other kids are here for oddly specific camps, except for Max. Max has some kind of vendetta against the counselors, but I've never really asked him what about, or why he's here. I think he's just here because he's been forced to be here – well, more forced than most of the other kids.  _What do you mean, forced?_

The closest we've gotten to science is hatching a platypus egg, if we don't count the secret lab with the genetic experimentation in the house on Spooky Island, and even then it was a highly unsuccessful venture. The platypus remains a scientific mystery.  _Wait, what? Do I cut that?_

I guess Space Kid is also here for science – not real science, though, just an obsession with space. I don't actually know what his real name is, but he's like all the Space Race enthusiasm bottled up into a preteen.  _Good metaphor. Is that a metaphor? Maybe it's a simile._

Then there's the magic kids who have absolutely no regards for the laws of physics. I mean, I'm sure Harrison would have realised by now that he can't spontaneously create matter out of his sleeve.

_[Neil, I had to cut your essay on why magic is only science made "less cool". It won't fit in the envelope otherwise, and Mr Campbell isn't willing to pay more for parcel postage.]_

Well, even if I don't come back next year, I think I've made some friends. Nikki's a bit unpredictable, and Max is...Max, not like that's a bad thing!

Though I would have preferred to go to a more serious science camp, where I could do actual science experiments in a lab that's not made of pine and doesn't spontaneously combust.  _It's cedar! Didn't you learn anything on the nature walks?_

Yours sincerely,

Neil

 ~~PS: Enclosed with this letter is a list of chemicals necessary for actually engaging scientific experimentation.~~   _No, there is not. We are not letting you have nitroglycerine, in any form. I don't want to do the paperwork for the consequences._

_That's a lot of big words, Neil. Looks like you're writing a dissertation rather than a letter home. Chill a little. - Gwen_


	3. Nikki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Mom, with– love? What are you talking about? Love is for girls!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh how do i write nikki

Dear Mom,

This. Camp. Has. Been. AMAZING! I'm pretty sure half of it's not meant to be adventure camp, but it's all so terrible that everything ends up an adventure! ~~I've nearly died, like, five times!~~   _How about we don't tell your mom that?_

I love all the other kids here! Well, most of them. Some are a little weird. Like Dolph. I think he has some kind of power complex thing going on.

But the other kids are nice! Harrison is teaching me magic, ~~but he hasn't let me be sawn in half yet.~~ And Ered! Ered is just...so cool!! ~~She's nearly died on her skateboard more times than I've nearly died doing everything else!~~   _Nikki, is your mother not concerned about you dying???_

There's also Max and Neil, but they're not as cool as Ered. Max has good ideas though, ~~and we're like a team of kamikaze campers setting out to break all the rules!~~ It's so much fun!!!

The counselors are nice. Gwen just kind of sighs at us now, and David's always trying to stop me from wrestling the wildlife, but other than that we get along great!  _Nikki, for the last time, the bears around here will kill you and I'll have to send your parents a bouquet of flowers and their money back. Mr Campbell won't be happy._

I miss you heaps, and I can't wait to come home so I can tell you everything that happened! Especially

_Nikki, please, we can't have your mother reading that. She'll think this is like a training camp for the army or punishment for juvenile delinquents or something! We can't have her reading three pages of that! Mr Campbell would be absolutely furious!_

it was a total mess!

Anyway, David's telling me to finish up so we can do more activities. Can't wait!!

Love Nikki

_Nikki, is your mom okay with your death wish? I most certainly am not - think of what Mr Campbell would say, and how much paperwork Gwen and I would have to fill out! From now on, indoors activities only. - David_

 

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr! (spaceboy-niko.tumblr.com)
> 
> i also have a writing blog! (catchafallingstarfish.tumblr.com)


End file.
